Pop

[Todd]

The more I read you, the more I appreciate your style. I. Like this a lot. Some comments:

I pretended your mouth--love the break
didn't water for her
and rode bikes along shores of--maybe break on shores
sunny closed eyes and la la la--sunny closed eyes is such a surprising line. The la la la reads to me like a Vonnegut so it goes.

I heard her vomit you
behind the stop sign at--maybe break on sign
the end of the bed,
where dank was rapacious--a greedy mildewed cold. I like the phrasing

Being quiet was louder than you--lovely line
when ice popped in warm tequila--this also
and sheets were never pulled--great detail in these last two lines
quite tight enough for her--if the you above is the her than maybe end on enough

Loved it in the details even the reference of the tequila line back to the cool title.

Best,

Todd