03-26-2013, 07:14 AM
[quote='neena2504' pid='120502' dateline='1364196396']
I must let you know how thankful I am to you for giving your time to my poem and providing these utterly useful comments.
This is the first time I am receiving some real corrections and I have hope I'll be able to write some real poetry in the coming days.
I admit haven't read many poems and hence was not aware of the cliches(English isn't my native tongue), will try to read more poems and will try my best not to use them.
Yes, I see how strong it has become after editing but I would want to keep the first line (with the correction in grammar) because that's what came to my mind first and I cannot imagine this poem without it. I will come up with an edit soon.
I know a little about rhythm and meter, not much, and I think I can try writing pieces based on them. Is there a particular form you would suggest for me and a few examples?
And yes, I could sure use more help but I do not want to burden you, honestly, I do not want to take much of your time (I've really started feeling guilty now
)
Cheers
I always suggest beginnig writers start at triolets. I hated them when I started writing as they are so restrictive but they force you to focus and really use your words to the maximum effect. They grow on you after the first hundred or so.
http://pigpenpoetry.com/Thread-POETRY-PR...he-Triolet
almost all new writers love sonnets! Although they have a tendency to sound pretentious if you are not careful:
http://pigpenpoetry.com/Thread-POETRY-PR...or-Italian
http://pigpenpoetry.com/Thread-POETRY-PR...lizabethan
you can also find some examples of all 3 in the iamb rock - iamb paper - iamb scissors threads.
http://pigpenpoetry.com/Thread-Iamb-Paper
http://pigpenpoetry.com/Thread-Iamb-Rock
http://pigpenpoetry.com/Thread-Iamb-the-...ou-bastard
have fun!
milo
I must let you know how thankful I am to you for giving your time to my poem and providing these utterly useful comments.
This is the first time I am receiving some real corrections and I have hope I'll be able to write some real poetry in the coming days.
I admit haven't read many poems and hence was not aware of the cliches(English isn't my native tongue), will try to read more poems and will try my best not to use them.
Yes, I see how strong it has become after editing but I would want to keep the first line (with the correction in grammar) because that's what came to my mind first and I cannot imagine this poem without it. I will come up with an edit soon.
I know a little about rhythm and meter, not much, and I think I can try writing pieces based on them. Is there a particular form you would suggest for me and a few examples?
And yes, I could sure use more help but I do not want to burden you, honestly, I do not want to take much of your time (I've really started feeling guilty now
)Cheers
I always suggest beginnig writers start at triolets. I hated them when I started writing as they are so restrictive but they force you to focus and really use your words to the maximum effect. They grow on you after the first hundred or so.
http://pigpenpoetry.com/Thread-POETRY-PR...he-Triolet
almost all new writers love sonnets! Although they have a tendency to sound pretentious if you are not careful:
http://pigpenpoetry.com/Thread-POETRY-PR...or-Italian
http://pigpenpoetry.com/Thread-POETRY-PR...lizabethan
you can also find some examples of all 3 in the iamb rock - iamb paper - iamb scissors threads.
http://pigpenpoetry.com/Thread-Iamb-Paper
http://pigpenpoetry.com/Thread-Iamb-Rock
http://pigpenpoetry.com/Thread-Iamb-the-...ou-bastard
have fun!
milo