03-26-2013, 01:07 AM
I have loved having my work critiqued. It lets me see where others will come from, get rid of some of my flaws, and see how dedicated to a piece I am. I will talke some of this into consideration.
I will say "positive" criticism is the key. all the rest is, well, Gobbledygook.
This is what I wrote, really.
A clammy sun incites its sleepy state, whilst an old moon broke leaking all over the floor; then the mop died.
When mourning rays shed way to morning, will a flower grow in the middle of this face, drawing moustaches all around my eyes?
My mental fjord Is abscessing Like jettisoned up municipality birds without wings.
The yellow brick road has artificial fibs that lure and glue feet to his rotted veins.
I hope you sink from all that you drink.
My psychosis is precocious, all taut and wound round the gate that is sealed for a minute or two.
Never getting free, that’s what the doctors all told me.
I will say "positive" criticism is the key. all the rest is, well, Gobbledygook.
This is what I wrote, really.
A clammy sun incites its sleepy state, whilst an old moon broke leaking all over the floor; then the mop died.
When mourning rays shed way to morning, will a flower grow in the middle of this face, drawing moustaches all around my eyes?
My mental fjord Is abscessing Like jettisoned up municipality birds without wings.
The yellow brick road has artificial fibs that lure and glue feet to his rotted veins.
I hope you sink from all that you drink.
My psychosis is precocious, all taut and wound round the gate that is sealed for a minute or two.
Never getting free, that’s what the doctors all told me.
...(s)he has trouble acting normal when she's nervous
Poetry in motion, played out in the mind of madness
Poetry in motion, played out in the mind of madness