Spatial Relationships

[tectak]

My lover Kali has no eyes
but draws my face in glyphs
of synapse -
arms outstretched
and tipped with fingers dripped in char
she grasps the canvass
in bunched waves -
futile strokes of burnt umber
like she's drowning, grasping waves of sea.

I cannot give her light
or tell her why,
as she leans her sightless
eyes toward me,
a flower pressing to the coolness of the earth,
I pull away.[[

Hi milo,
This is one of those pieces that only exists because of your interpretive instincts.
There is not a whole lot to pick on conceptually, because it is terse verse and the better for it...it is just long enough. Couple of nits. I felt that you had two waves coming too close together. My reading recall bumped over it the first fime but left me aware that there was something irritating the flow. Second read...wave on wave.
The dashed clause really works correctly for me-though there is a deal of additional information within-but I felt that the "glyphs of synapse" was over described.
Leanne mentioned the "like she's drowning" and I can only agree.
Just one overall niggle. The "idea" of the sightless Kali is not easily linked to the "draws my face" line. I wrestled a little with the complexity of the observation (wrong word for the same reason as follows) and wondered if "sees my face" was more suited? Your poem.
Best,
tectak