‘Eternal’, ‘love’, sneer!

[C.M.C.]

I love the image of lust as rotting fruit.

It might be interesting to take the content and explore; lust dies of course, but love too? You ask and say yes, but how do they differ in their deaths? Might be rich terrain to explore. Is one death faster than the other, more putrid, more slow and painful, more quick . . . .

Just an idea

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. I think you're right that a comparision like this would be interesting, and might well write a sonnet with that angle.

Mikey.

---

Well I did like this, it is a pleasure to the ear, but why have you left it a line short of a sonnet?


regards saeity.

Thank you, Saeity, for taking the time to read and comment. I did my darnedest to make this iambic, although I know I've compromised in places. And thanks again for pointing out that I had missed a line. That was quite an oversight on my part.

Mikey.

---

Hi C.M.C,

Your first critique is well done, I think. Thank you for offering it. And you might be right about the last line being a bit forced, so I'll give it some thought and may rewrite it.

Regarding your first two comments, you say you don't like that I split the sentence. You mean that I broke it across two lines, and you don't like the sound of it? If that is not your meaning, could you give some clarification?

Thank you for taking the time to give me critique.

Mikey.

Oh, now that I look back at it, it was nothing. I was new and didn't quite understand the whole splitting sentences through different lines thing. But now I realize that it's nothing out of the ordinary. Sorry for wasting time.