Spatial Relationships

[cidermaid]

Hi Milo
I like the art / drawing / painting thread through out this. I got a little lost in a couple of places with the idea of some of the images. I'll go through it AJ style and offer what thoughts I can.

My lover Kali has no eyes From Kali I get an image of blackness or darkness but also warrior female figure...defender of the family unit. So the blackness is emphasised by her sightless condition and the strength is diminished in my reading.
but draws my face in glyphs Nice. she draws (towards) and phisically as an art form...yet she uses words to make the connection from heavens to earth.
of synapse -
arms outstretched Speaks to me of need and longing. [...Pause for a smile, the narator, he who is loved, thinks that the he is superior to the goddess]
and tipped with fingers dripped in char Good continuation of the art thread - smooth read
she grasps the canvass A little lost here to define if the (art) canvass spoken of here is the face or the body of the narator ...not sure it matters to the read [? use of :- the . does this need to be my, if it was my face above]
in bunched waves - This is a bit of a big leap from the canvass image. I think i get what you are trying to convey her in terms of the fixed (slightly aloof) canvass of her desire that she is trowing herself against this, relentless like the waves drawing onto the beach; but I feel it is not a very smooth transition from one to the other in terms of thought progression
futile strokes of burnt umber Think this is beautiful. Love the use of burnt unber, it has so many associations
like she's drowning, grasping waves of sea. Second leanne's comment on this line

I cannot give her light Here we are shown her dependancy and craving and also a briefest flicker of conffession from the beloved, that he does not have it all. He is of the light and she is of the darkness and they cannot be joined. The mediums will not mix but equally this is because this is not his to give. Love the thought progression here - brilliant
or tell her why,
as she leans her sightless
eyes toward me, ? Do we need her on the line above or eyes on this line
a flower pressing to the coolness of the earth, Nice line but does feel a little wordy. Ah..what a heartless world we live in, where a poor blind, weakened goddess is turned away and denied the light of this man's art!
I pull away. Love the ending Not sure if I agree or not, with leanne about setting this on a line apart. Am thinking perhaps even a re-shuffle of the layout of the last three lines. Appoligies for the liberty below. Just some thoughts.

I cannot give her light
or tell her why,
she leans sightless toward me,
a flower pressing to the coolness of the earth.

I pull away.

Apreciate this. Very much enjoyed the read.
AJ.