Nothing at the center

[NakedBear]

If you don't offend someone, you're not doing it right

How about this:

If not, I’d plead with you
to know my thoughts, offensive to myself.
I’d say to fuck with both:
We'd swear a new oath,
between ourselves.

At last! Permission to offend!

The change works for meter, and its clear I still have much to learn about rhythm. But the phrasing sounds like speaker is sure of the outcome, when I don't fancy he is.

And now that this line is being discussed, I realize it's also the linchpin to this thing, for me, and so I should sleep on it a bit before deciding (it is 2am for me, after all!).

Thanks again for your time. Good-night.

Mikey.