03-21-2013, 10:29 PM
(03-21-2013, 10:21 PM)rowens Wrote: This poem sounds nice. And it would feel nice too, but my heart's philosophy handles things similarly yet very differently.I agree...but could you suggest a way to restructure the line?
Reach down and touch the earth with joyful hand
Discover there the sensate mystery
Your heart’s philosophy to understand.
The "understand" line doesn't work as well as the rest of the poem, I don't think. The way that line's worded, to fit the rhyme, breaks the spell a little.