03-18-2013, 07:01 PM
Thank you for your comment, Todd.
"Why break on fuzzy and not on border ?" -> because I wanted rhythm to be very regular in this poem. I think I can make an exception for the first line, though.
"... if you cut fuzzy" -> so, in your opinion, would it be better if I put "fuzzy" at the beginning of the 2nd line, or if I removed it ? Personnally I don't mind suppressing it, because the other solution would alter the symetry of the 2nd line in a way I don't really find desirable. It would make it sound verbose - I'll keep the idea of "doing more with less".
... And, sorry for the typo. ^^"
"Why break on fuzzy and not on border ?" -> because I wanted rhythm to be very regular in this poem. I think I can make an exception for the first line, though.
"... if you cut fuzzy" -> so, in your opinion, would it be better if I put "fuzzy" at the beginning of the 2nd line, or if I removed it ? Personnally I don't mind suppressing it, because the other solution would alter the symetry of the 2nd line in a way I don't really find desirable. It would make it sound verbose - I'll keep the idea of "doing more with less".
... And, sorry for the typo. ^^"