glissando - rev 2

[tectak]

Skies drip rain into

vases of sorrow,

resurrecting dead

flowers day after day.

A broken-winged bird

swooped up by the wind

will not sing again

Hi heart,
This is terse-verse and accordingly does not have a whole lot to crit...nothing wrong with that BUT when there is not a lot to go at you have to make the best of what there is. So. No rhyme...fine. No meter...OK. That's fine, too. Content? Well, absolutely...petit bijoux. Can it be improved? Well, you stuck it in serious crit so I will try not to disappoint
What is left?....Flow! ( Apologies for the repeated last line...It is very me and can be very glissando! )

Skies drip rain
into vases of sorrow,
resurrecting dead flowers
day after day.

A broken-winged bird
swooped up by the wind
will not sing again...

will not sing again.

What say you?
Best,
tectak