03-15-2013, 02:21 PM
Grettings.
What is Nose Day? An odd phrase.
And the '(desire)' bit. Is that to tell the reader what the line means, or... what is it's purpose.
her son empowered with love peace rock 'n roll
I liked this line, and the casual reference to jesus and his 'mum'. It's tossed out there so loosely that I thought you might actually be taking a shot on the church. But no, all seems sincere (or is it?).
Not all your enjambments contribute positively to the poem, though.
Mikey.
What is Nose Day? An odd phrase.
And the '(desire)' bit. Is that to tell the reader what the line means, or... what is it's purpose.
her son empowered with love peace rock 'n roll
I liked this line, and the casual reference to jesus and his 'mum'. It's tossed out there so loosely that I thought you might actually be taking a shot on the church. But no, all seems sincere (or is it?).
Not all your enjambments contribute positively to the poem, though.
Mikey.