[working title]
#2
This is good. not sure about "box" or "think carefully with your mind". I think "mouth is the lock" is great. Rhythm is almost there, maybe lose "carefully". I dont think it needs too much work.

Jamie
Take my comments with a pinch of salt
I have no knowledge about a lot.
Reply


Messages In This Thread
[working title] - by milemke08 - 03-14-2013, 03:49 AM
RE: [working title] - by Jamie - 03-14-2013, 06:07 AM
RE: [working title] - by NakedBear - 03-14-2013, 06:46 AM



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!