03-12-2013, 02:48 AM
Hi
I agree with a lot of what the others are saying. I most defiantly think that this poem could be cut down a little bit. But you should elaborate not with more words but with building a mental image like with the butterflies. Maybe describe how nervous you feel. I really do like the thought and i can see where your going with it, and I can relate because it's how i felt talking with my now girlfriend for the first time.
I agree with a lot of what the others are saying. I most defiantly think that this poem could be cut down a little bit. But you should elaborate not with more words but with building a mental image like with the butterflies. Maybe describe how nervous you feel. I really do like the thought and i can see where your going with it, and I can relate because it's how i felt talking with my now girlfriend for the first time.