03-12-2013, 01:05 AM
the 2nd and 3rd stanza aren't too bad, the first stanza is pretty much a rolling cliche. take out any thing that doesn't add and see if you can make the 1st stanza oriinal. i do like the 1st line of the 2nd stanza a lot.
(03-11-2013, 04:05 PM)tjs2465 Wrote: It's silly the difference a Day can make
It was the difference between me with you
The difference between flying high and feeling blue
A Day can undo life into death
It can take a body and steal its breath
A Day, can be irreversibly unforgiving
But alas, one need not feel bereft
Even when one has been left
A Day is like a remedy,
Breathing life back into me