Billy the kid

[NakedBear]

Billy the kid
shot me with his gun -- is this a metaphor? How should I take it?
we went into space
walked the streets
camped on wasteland
fought each other
stole pints of milk -- reads like a list, except that every item is an action, which lends it some weight. Still, I think some words could be added to make this listing seem more active.

ran with the crowd
we were loud
found out he was dead -- this is very abrupt. You could add more lines above to explain a separation between you two, or more simply, a line break, preserving the abruptness but also to cue the reader that it's intended. ??
standing at his grave
you commin out
billy the kid --I like the simpleness of this end. Speaker standing at the grave, so unbelieving that his buddy can be dead that he speaks to him and fully expects him to return (while, maybe, in his heart he knows he cannot come back).
___________

Mikey[/b]