03-11-2013, 04:48 AM
Tectak: The enjambment that so distresses you is for two reasons -- the first is that I read everything aloud before I commit it to posting and reorganise my pauses accordingly to ensure that pace and sonics are maximised. That stanza worked best with the hard pause after instead. The second, and much more important reason, is that I knew it would irritate you. If you like, you may consider it revenge for those syntax inversions you insist on using to annoy me 
Dear Mr Penman, I have decanted only one frog in my time and sadly, its entrails were not glassy. The resulting liquor completely ruined the neighbour's tablecloth.
Todd, it's going to take me as long to work through your critique as it took you to work through my poem! I had religion in my head for some reason while I was writing it, but that of course is transferrable to all kinds of different hypocrisies -- and even with religion at the fore, there's absolutely no doubt that it was always underscored by art and politics. They're inextricable, at least in my head. It's an uncomfortable crowd sometimes. Many inadequate thanks for your thoughts.
Dear Mr Penman, I have decanted only one frog in my time and sadly, its entrails were not glassy. The resulting liquor completely ruined the neighbour's tablecloth.
Todd, it's going to take me as long to work through your critique as it took you to work through my poem! I had religion in my head for some reason while I was writing it, but that of course is transferrable to all kinds of different hypocrisies -- and even with religion at the fore, there's absolutely no doubt that it was always underscored by art and politics. They're inextricable, at least in my head. It's an uncomfortable crowd sometimes. Many inadequate thanks for your thoughts.
It could be worse