03-10-2013, 10:31 PM
Hi Tommy,
Missed this on the original but this this is a great edit and is much improved.
In the first stanza you have growing and then in the second stanza you use grown and grows, this is one grow to many. perhaps you could change the final grows to spreads or creeps or some other discriptive to convey the idea.
Overall I enjoyed this very much.
Fav line: Putrid urges lay in wait. (But I want to read it as lie in wait).
Thanks for the read AJ.
Missed this on the original but this this is a great edit and is much improved.
In the first stanza you have growing and then in the second stanza you use grown and grows, this is one grow to many. perhaps you could change the final grows to spreads or creeps or some other discriptive to convey the idea.
Overall I enjoyed this very much.
Fav line: Putrid urges lay in wait. (But I want to read it as lie in wait).
Thanks for the read AJ.