Pietas

[tectak]

Today, upturned, I look for the lie,
the strawberry syrup disguising the base
that drips from the tongue of the mockingbird mime
to a crystal decanter of sky.Really glad you got this line in again. It matters now....much more than it did before. I knew it was precious. I intended coveting it Bugger

Where truffle pigs root through a midden of pearls
all stamped with a date of expiry
inspiring stampedes as the dogma decrees
with a sniff from its perch in the sun. "Smell by" date comes to mind. The purpose of poetry? Makes you think, doesn't it. Lovely stuff. Rhymes forced out

And nobody looks in their pockets,
and nobody stands on the ground; instead I don't see why you should be immune to this critter. You know what I am about to say, and I know you are bear-trapping me...but why?
they despair, with their feet in the air
and I bleed, but their glasses are empty.

Hi leanne,
an enlivened forum! This piece well worth the resubmit. Sorry to complain, or not, about the forced enjambment, if that is possible, but it is no beauty-spot on the face of perfection. You changed the rhythm radically enough in the final stanza to permit " instead they despair, with their feet in the air" so why not?
Best,
tectak


*Yes, recycling lines