03-10-2013, 06:19 AM
Thank you very much for your thoughts. I have tried a couple of edits. I will give you the 2nd one. It's getting closer to what I wanted to say, thanks to you guys.
EDIT 2;
Split me open, look inside
Secret thoughts I try to hide
Cut me wide, expose the core
Deep inside where there is more
Cut down into the heart of me
You will not like it, you will see.
Dark crevasses filled with hate
Putrid urges lay in wait.
Evil growing here inside
Inspiration long denied.
Split me open, if you dare
Smell the stench of my despair.
I’ve grown accustomed to the rot
It grows within my every thought.
Take it from me, tear it out
Free me of the fear and doubt.
A terminal malignancy
Has stolen happiness from me.
EDIT 2;
Split me open, look inside
Secret thoughts I try to hide
Cut me wide, expose the core
Deep inside where there is more
Cut down into the heart of me
You will not like it, you will see.
Dark crevasses filled with hate
Putrid urges lay in wait.
Evil growing here inside
Inspiration long denied.
Split me open, if you dare
Smell the stench of my despair.
I’ve grown accustomed to the rot
It grows within my every thought.
Take it from me, tear it out
Free me of the fear and doubt.
A terminal malignancy
Has stolen happiness from me.