New hope
#4
I think you have a great start here. I enjoyed it even with some of the meter and scheme problems that will resolve themselves through editing. I think you should try cutting out the you's as much as possible. For example; When winter is a month too long. In other words write it in the singular voice, about yourself and then allow me to insert myself into the poem through empathy with the authors emotions.
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Messages In This Thread
New hope - by Jamie - 03-08-2013, 09:48 PM
RE: New hope - by billy - 03-08-2013, 10:54 PM
RE: New hope - by Todd - 03-08-2013, 11:16 PM
RE: New hope - by Tommy - 03-09-2013, 10:25 AM
RE: New hope - by Aphroditeny - 03-09-2013, 10:47 AM
RE: New hope - by Jamie - 03-09-2013, 06:24 PM
RE: New hope - by billy - 03-09-2013, 06:35 PM
RE: New hope - by Claire - 03-11-2013, 05:22 AM
RE: New hope - by Seth31 - 03-11-2013, 10:12 PM
RE: New hope - by escorial - 03-12-2013, 12:25 AM
RE: New hope - by milemke08 - 03-13-2013, 04:29 AM



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