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[tectak]

Women understand that
while buying shoes is a necessityWhilst
wearing them is optional.

Best,
tectak

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Women understand that
while buying shoes is a necessity
wearing them is optional.

This is a poetry site of necessity. It is not an option. Read the rules.
tectak

If Hemmingway's

For salecolon
baby shoescomma
never wornfull stop
This is likely to be plagiarised by Hemmingway...and is still not generally accepted as a story. Hemmingway himself went on to explain.
Nonetheless, as with War and Peace, I skipped most of your poem and went straight to the last line to see how it turned out.
There. Proper crit.
Best,
tectak

Is acceptable as a complete short story....

The women who have seen it acknowledge it as accurate!


Please elucidate - Seen from your lofty intellectual perch is it too short?

No. It is too long Sorry if I seemed a little blunt. That was not the intention....I need knocking off the lofty perch regularly.
I just feel that if there is little to crit you get little crit.
I know that you have stuck a few good crits up but billy HAS just changed the rules and I was taking advantage of them. When wrong....say wrong. I am wrong.
Best,
tectak