03-05-2013, 07:22 PM
most of us try to be honest gemma 
i wasn't over awed by the last two lines which took away from the rest of the poem. i did like the first two lines of the 2nd verse a lot though and felt they would make a great end to the poem and leave something for the reader to dwell on
i wasn't over awed by the last two lines which took away from the rest of the poem. i did like the first two lines of the 2nd verse a lot though and felt they would make a great end to the poem and leave something for the reader to dwell on
(03-05-2013, 11:50 AM)Gemma Wrote: Take off your mask,
It's wearing thin.
Immutable, and ever still.. one or thee dots
It shrouds a storm that brews within. good verse, it captures the personality.
I have an umbrella, I have warm clothes,
I'll brave the tempest when it shows... for me the poem could end here.
However harsh the element revealed,
T'will be greeted more than a mind concealed.
I would really appreciate your criticism folks, and please be honest