Amongst The Clay

[saeity]

Of delicate bones- crafted- -- Not sure why there are 2 dashes here.
A blank canvas
eager awaits impressive imprints -- The syntax here sounds a little odd to me, but it's nothing major. The first 2 lines of the stanza sets out to give a strong imagery, but the 3rd line sort of falls flat. Impressive is not a word I'd use to give the image life. Something more tangible that links to out senses should improve the stanza quite a bit.
palmed in a worldly scene of unfulfilled compromise. -- This line could have been powerful, but the 3rd line just takes too much out of the stanza as a whole to really give it the impact that it needs.

How a life timed of rough tides -- Once again, the syntax is a little weird here.
will come to embattle
the shores, pulling strength
from weakness; to seek
truth in lies. -- Good imagery with the shores and the tides. Bordering on cliche though, but it's nice nonetheless.

Looking up to the sky
and sea in such beauty shadowing
the contrast in natures, as aged
bones bound to earth, -- The enjambments of the 2nd to 4th lines don't really add anything to the poem. I find that they are kind of irritating, but considering that the rest of the enjambments do work, I say just a simple restructuring will do the trick.
shall, in their finality, lay down -- This line is not really needed in my opinion.
in preparation once more to embrace
their creative maker.

Overall it's an entertaining read. I really enjoyed it. Hope that I'm of help! =)

Hi brandontoh, yes you picked up on some really good points there, the first being overemphasis of the word crafted, eager was a typo should have been eagerly, thankyou for your constructive criticism

Tectac, oh my! If I had a pair of bollocks they'd be hanging out of my mouth right now, ouch. Fortunately I'm a masochist and I think I rather enjoyed your review. I appreciate the fact the inversion does not work and yes it was a play on words, placing I think too much emphasis on sound rather than content. It is a piece written outside of my comfort zone and you picked up on that, well done. I do enjoy wordplay though it was obviously lost on you here. Your critique has been most refreshing and I thankyou so much for your honesty. This is one piece that shall not see a revision.

Escorial, I'm glad you liked- thankyou

saeity.