A Genius

[Yelleryella123]

I think you are both wrong (not wrong but not correct either) becuz:

I think I am possessed by a wise but wicked clown demon (trickster is the word I think). I once saw him on a Sunday morning the instant I woke up. I was 4 years old. He sat on my cushion about a foot long and grinned sadistically at me. Horrorshow. I instinctively behaved like those more nude than dressed sexy damsels in distress in Scream 1, 2.. 3 etc, I mean the hystery ,
woke up my parents who d been boozing till 5 the night before (it was 1o then )
Now the problem was , and the demon had told me so before, that parents can't see him. ,.
He disappeard nevertheless...

About eleven years later, when I started boozing, he suddenly reappeard and told me that the more euphorising chemicals I consumed the more stoned he will get (He did not lie).
so now we are on a first name basis and get along quite well. I think he is close to retirement. Of course if anyone (grown-up) would tell this anecdotes in public, like on a forum, I mean like here, where any one can read it, they would probably being taken to a looney bin.
But that does not solve the problem. So I do not talk about what happened to me. I mean: not in public. I cannot related my demon to your demons. Him. well anyway.

You believe you are a slave to this possession? Is there a trigger outside of drug use? Do you paint?
We all have a deep, dark mark on our soul if it does not make up at least half of our self. That is the area the lotus grows out of -

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I want to keep working. I want struggle, and the intensity of clashing personalities that make love an actual force. I need evil, or so-called evil in the world, but I don't want it. It hurts me, but I need it. Or else I cease to be what I am and those I love cease to be what they are.

I think you are screaming behind your words.