03-02-2013, 06:18 AM
Yeah... I thought I'd give you a proper critique but I find I can't really. I appreciated every pun, every piece of intertext and -- very strangely for me -- every sentiment. The sonics are excellent throughout, with lots of internal rhyme and subtle alliteration. The only suggestion I have is that you could remove "with" from the start of S2 L2. Sorry.
It could be worse