why i can't let go

[billy]

hi eyeslikesky.

there's a kernal there for you to work with but the poem needs to realised, who are the we, the them, why did we invest time. from the last stanza i'm thinking our children but at present it feels weak. it needs fleshing out

thanks for the read.

We unless the 'we' is tied into the title, it makes for a very very weak first line out there on it's own. who are the we?
carelessly allow someone,
grant them permission to
make us feel so
pitiful the first stanza needs some depth, at present while there's a revelation in it, it could read as, people show me up

We have invested our time in them, again, who are the wee and now the tem?
stayed with them
for the months,
the years,
the hours,
the minutes and
the seconds this could read as; we spent a lot of time on them

We've soaked
and bathed in all
of them
of what they are
of who they are,
their mannerisms and
features unnoticed