02-27-2013, 07:38 AM
Never stopped me before.
But that's fine. I have read it. And I'm going to read it again. And try to say at least something now without drinking.
I can see your lines placed the way you wanted them while I'm replying.
I can hear someone getting up on stage and reading this. But most reading would probably like something more condensed. There's a lot of the same old thing that people are used to hearing again and again. For its length, there isn't much memorable about it, not much that stands out. It has a driving force behind it though, and that fades out a little in places. If you want to, maybe you could try shortening it, and giving more attention to some of the images and ideas that flow by. As it is, it's a little too thin.
But that's fine. I have read it. And I'm going to read it again. And try to say at least something now without drinking.
I can see your lines placed the way you wanted them while I'm replying.
I can hear someone getting up on stage and reading this. But most reading would probably like something more condensed. There's a lot of the same old thing that people are used to hearing again and again. For its length, there isn't much memorable about it, not much that stands out. It has a driving force behind it though, and that fades out a little in places. If you want to, maybe you could try shortening it, and giving more attention to some of the images and ideas that flow by. As it is, it's a little too thin.