Needing Bi-Focals - Edit & title change

[Todd]

Hi Lucy, this is one of the times that I feel like I'd be mucking about rather than helping. Here goes with the mucking though.

mood change - word change - too rapid and reactive for permanancy? Morphed away from the title.


Blinkered by youth,
undefeatable optimism,--Is this necessary? I think blinkered by youth and then the flow of the content gets you there.
the feet have no nose.

I didn’t know
what was hidden
in the piles of leaves
I kicked.--Love all this. Nice progression

Squinting to read,
unenviable vanity,--I guess I'm just not fond of the characteristic tag lines. It could just be my preferences of course
the hands have no eyes.

I can’t see
what I hold,--nice change
moss from the bark
I touched.--these stumbling blind sequences work very well

I feel my way
through the branches and trunks,
the buds and the broken roots.--beautiful phrasing

Hokus Pokus in the woods,--This is a preference but I sort of liked your magician line better. It's unfair because if this were the original I'm not sure I'd have this reaction to the line. You could go right to the ferns.
ferns curl around time.--utterly love the primordial sense to this line
Sunlight strikes sight,--I'd consider cutting this line and reinserting something from the earlier draft at the end.
blue bells sound clear.
Shrouds of confusion
part, and through a prism, fascination
forms an instant of simplicity.--This works very well with the bell earlier. It helps enable this moment of insight. This may totally not work but I would suggest a strophe break and maybe a reinsertion of these ideas to stand alone and end the poem:

The magician pulls time
from his hat
the sun has no voice.

I did enjoy the read. I'm not sure if the comments will be helpful, but I hope they are.

Best,

Todd