Needing Bi-Focals - Edit & title change

[billy]

at least it arrived
i struggled mid poem but i like a lot of whats going on. i think the magician lines need expanding a little. you have a good base for a good poem.

Blinkered by youth,
undefeatable optimism,
the feet have no nose. i like the opener, this line works on more than 1 level. it's funny and serious at the same time. it's like a warning of bad oemns etc.

I didn’t know
what was hidden
in the piles of leaves
I kicked. this is plain speaking, (to men who live in the gutter) it does read like standing in shit. which works with the stanza above.

Squinting to read,
unenviable vanity,
the hands have no eyes. this is where i stumbled, i have to stop reding in order to decipher the meaning, and i'm left wondering if i got it right

I can’t see
what I find,
moss in the bark is this a question or a statement?
I touched.

I feel my way
through the branches and trunks,
the buds and the broken twigs.
The magician pulls time where did the magician come from, a lead in would help this line be more reader friendly
from his hat
a masterful illusion
since the sun has no voice.




Hmmm not the poem I imagined - but the one that has arrived, UNINVITED.