A Love Poem
#2
Hi There,
Please see some of my comments below. Fun, sweet poem Smile

(02-21-2013, 10:36 AM)WouldBePoet Wrote:  I love you dearly and there’s no doubt
I’m better off with you than without Maybe take out "you" here, I think it will help the rhyme
I believe God put you in my life
And someday you will be my wife
More than just another lover
I want you for my babies’ mother I kinda think it should be babe's mother? I think that's just a personal preference to the way baby's sounds
You know me like you know your hand
Yet love me still for who I am
We laugh and play and sing together
And the sex just keeps on getting better Maybe take out 'just' here or 'on'
But what we have is more than lust
A relationship that’s built on trust
This life is not a bed of roses
We cry and wipe each others’ noses cute Smile
Side by side we learn and grow
We’re stronger than a year ago
A year that came and went so fast
Who knew that we would make it last
While love is known to fade away
Ours grows stronger everyday
So what I’m saying in the end
Is you are truly my best friend I think you can lose the 'is' here
I think towards the end your rhymes get a bit stronger. Thanks for the read Smile
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Messages In This Thread
A Love Poem - by WouldBePoet - 02-21-2013, 10:36 AM
RE: A Love Poem - by Michelle311 - 02-22-2013, 06:51 AM



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