02-20-2013, 12:32 AM
1st Edit:
Pending Judgment
It’s suffocating.
Not literally, but still
I gasp for air I don’t need.
Feels like my soul,
if it even exists,
is wringed dry like wet towels.
Fear, it must be.
What else can it be?
Of the unknown,
superficially.
Of evidence of failure,
actually.
The papers used to be mine to own,
with mastery level consisting straight As.
Now I’m the slave, future uncertain,
in the papers’ hands.
Time in limelight yesterday’s news,
my shine no longer strong or powerful.
It’s a tiny candle flicker,
weak and a sign of incompetence.
If this is being normal,
then I’d rather stay the weirdo
who at least has enigmatic depth
to his stoicism,
and tells himself that
‘At least a candle is romantic as heck.’
Original:
Pending Judgment
It’s suffocating.
Not literally, but still
I gasp for air I don’t need.
Feels like my soul is twisted
into a knot.
If it even exists.
No, I don’t want to know.
The only way out
is to know, but
I don’t want to know.
Fear, it must be.
What else can it be?
Of the unknown,
superficially.
Of failure,
of hard evidence
of incompetence,
actually.
So, this is being normal.
Then I’d rather stay the weirdo
who at least have enigmatic depth
to his stoicism.
--------------------------------------
As usual, all feedback is greatly appreciated and thanks for reading my poem! =)
'A' Level results will be released in a couple weeks' time. I retook it this year as a private candidate. In my whole exam filled life, this is the first time I actually feel this frustration of waiting for the results to be released. The first time I took the exams, I expected to outright flunk. Things happened, I had an emotional breakdown, so I knew I was going to do badly. Before that, I've always been a high-flyer who can just breeze through exams like they're nothing. 2 years without a schooling environment and basically a full-time job made me realise how difficult it is to actually study with all the extra responsibilities in life. Without mentors to guide me along and without classmates to compare progress with, I'm really, really scared. I don't want to disappoint my family, my old teachers, and most importantly, myself. Yes, it's a rant. A rather incoherent and long one. Sorry if I wasted your time. =/ This poem is written to get rid of this annoying feeling. It works, but doesn't really completely remove this feeling.
Pending Judgment
It’s suffocating.
Not literally, but still
I gasp for air I don’t need.
Feels like my soul,
if it even exists,
is wringed dry like wet towels.
Fear, it must be.
What else can it be?
Of the unknown,
superficially.
Of evidence of failure,
actually.
The papers used to be mine to own,
with mastery level consisting straight As.
Now I’m the slave, future uncertain,
in the papers’ hands.
Time in limelight yesterday’s news,
my shine no longer strong or powerful.
It’s a tiny candle flicker,
weak and a sign of incompetence.
If this is being normal,
then I’d rather stay the weirdo
who at least has enigmatic depth
to his stoicism,
and tells himself that
‘At least a candle is romantic as heck.’
Original:
Pending Judgment
It’s suffocating.
Not literally, but still
I gasp for air I don’t need.
Feels like my soul is twisted
into a knot.
If it even exists.
No, I don’t want to know.
The only way out
is to know, but
I don’t want to know.
Fear, it must be.
What else can it be?
Of the unknown,
superficially.
Of failure,
of hard evidence
of incompetence,
actually.
So, this is being normal.
Then I’d rather stay the weirdo
who at least have enigmatic depth
to his stoicism.
--------------------------------------
As usual, all feedback is greatly appreciated and thanks for reading my poem! =)
'A' Level results will be released in a couple weeks' time. I retook it this year as a private candidate. In my whole exam filled life, this is the first time I actually feel this frustration of waiting for the results to be released. The first time I took the exams, I expected to outright flunk. Things happened, I had an emotional breakdown, so I knew I was going to do badly. Before that, I've always been a high-flyer who can just breeze through exams like they're nothing. 2 years without a schooling environment and basically a full-time job made me realise how difficult it is to actually study with all the extra responsibilities in life. Without mentors to guide me along and without classmates to compare progress with, I'm really, really scared. I don't want to disappoint my family, my old teachers, and most importantly, myself. Yes, it's a rant. A rather incoherent and long one. Sorry if I wasted your time. =/ This poem is written to get rid of this annoying feeling. It works, but doesn't really completely remove this feeling.
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