Through the eyes of a Fox

[tectak]

Through the eyes of a Fox

I once met a two legged beastThis is a bald (not a typo) opening which will need a good deal of support from the next li...oh dear! It does not get any.
The only way to learnYou are thinking ahead of your poem. This line has no conditionality or obvious link to the line above. Both lines are now adrift. Perhaps the next li...oh dear, no such luck
was through a monstrous feast What feast? Why? What can you learn, even as a fox, through eating? If you are a fox you have had a meal or two since you were a cub! You need to get into this creatures skin and THINK like a fox, not a poet. Perhaps the next lin....oh dear, now we/you/it are an "I", so who the hell wrote the first lines. You or the fox?
Whilst I hid behind the fernSo let's assume it is you again. This fern you hid behind, it wasn't that fern over there, was it? Or perhaps this one here? No. It was "the" fern. Definitely the fern. Perhaps the next lin...oh dear, curiouser and curiouser.
and watched It yearnYou watched the fern yearn? Lost me here. I think I'll go shoot an elephant in my pyjamas. This is schoolboy howler. It needs putting right. Your poem.
They said it was the ManOh come on.Who said that it was the man? Where did "they" suddenly come from? You are writing way too fast and not reading your work. All of the problem areas are "see-able". You just need to READ what you have written, out loud. Perhaps the next line will...oh dear. Now you really are taking the pith.

I sought It,Who and what springs to mind. Whilst we were adrift before we are now out of radio contact because the earth is curved.
I explored that Great King of the PithSeth Godin?
And watched It spit,
upon everything that God blessed It withIt, it, it. What is IT? Enough already. We will no doubt have clarification in the next li....oh dear. Its that old git ,"it" again. This is not good.

I watched It grow
immune in all beautyLack of punctuation would normally cause a lack of clarity but here it is an irrelevancy. "Immune in all beauty" is nonsense line. Check up on word use because I think you are trying to express good thoughts here.
unchangeable through the flow
feared from the gale
which never stops to blow These last three lines are dire in all departments. Needs a rewrite I fear. There is no excuse for "feared from"(frightened by) , "immune in" (immune from) and "stops to blow" (ceases to). you would be better forgetting any attempt to rhyme if "forcing" causes such tortuous english. All is opinion, but I think you need to repost this in "mild".

The bewildered Man once met
with a trace of sharpness in Its eye cracks
looked at me smiled with rergetREGRET. Check your work before posting. See rules.
I smiled back and thought; They're savedThis last stanza is nonsense. I cannot say fairer than that.

Overall you have not convinced this reader of your intent or application. The whole piece is a mish-mash of disconnected words and concepts. There is good cause to revoke your poetic licence until you promise to stop torturing words. I would urge you to READ YOUR WORK OUT LOUD, (preferably to a Traffic Warden )....do not, though, give up on poetry. If you have a"concept" you have a starting point. It gets tricky after that.
Try writing blank-verse so that you can express yourself without the chains of rhyme.....but keep rhythm going. Something has to remain of poetry.
Best,
tectak