02-17-2013, 08:30 AM
I think that what you have here is a poem that was written with words that could express feelings, rather than a poem expressing feelings through words. Don't write so that you can emulate a style, but it can certainly influence how you write. Poetry should be felt first and then expressed, not the other way around. I don't want to sound harsh but it does sound a little empty to me. Of course, unlike other novice poets, you have a very good grasp of the English language and an extensive vocabulary, and this will give you a good foundation for future writing.