Untitled (help on a title...)

[hobbit86]

**2nd attempt**

To live is to feel the breath of emotion
Upon your silky face.
The beauty contained within your blushing cheeks,
A happiness so pure.

To hear a whisper of truth within your ear
Brings silence filled with love.
Warmth and peace is welcomed into open arms don't like this line...
A pounding heart laid bare.

Gently caressing your dreams to awaken
The moon and stars in reach.
Slowly ascend the mountains luscious and green
To find what is within.

It holds your shaking hand as you cross the
River of uncertainty.
An endless comfort you have never known
Fills empty hands with stars.


I really liked the idea of turning each line into a stanza...I feel some of the 2nd stanza was 'forced'...I struggled because this 'new' version has a completely different meaning to the first one. This one has more become a love poem...whereas the first one was more about life, and finding hope to get you through.

Anyway...not sure if this one works...perhaps because I'm not a fan of romantic poetry, lol