The Door to Nothing

[billy]

hi jack, came to this one late so i'll reply to the edit

seems like i went heavy on the crit but really most of the suggestions are just cosmetic, you have the base of a good solid poem i think.

thanks for the read

First edit:
The door to nothing stands ajar. seeing as this is also the title, is stands ajar needed?
All that is lush and green and provoking and painful unusually, i like the ands in this line, it feels clingy
rests on our side; on the other is darkness, would 'on the other, darkness.' tighten it up enough to be used?
an absence of sorrow or love. is sorrow or love strong enough, are they needed? a suggest would be not to use them or to use God or something else as though your blaming or it's their fault.
The choice to sacrifice your consciousness would one's work better than your...i'm not contemplating it
may keep it alive, like a sin
which is destroyed by knowledge of it.
I'm ascending the steps of this life i like the ending, it's very bullish and makes the 1st person seem stronger.
with a gun in my pocket.