Voices Within My Head

[hobbit86]

I awake from these infected dreams,
Laughing, Screaming, crying.
Hiding from the vile truth
My sanity slowly disappears.
The voices are screwing with my mind
The words trapped inside my head.

I try to remain in the cloud of hope
But the days are wasted,
It is fantasy not reality.
So I try to smoke away the problems
Alone in isolation I remain,
With this madness, overwhelming, smothering.

I look into the blurred mirror
There is no recognition, the familiarity has vanished,
All I see are cracked faces looking back at me.
Reaching for the delicate rose the thorns attack,
Bleeding and scarred I retreat
Returning to the lonely cave the words, the voices echoe
"this is my life!"

©Invisible Shadows 2007


I wrote this a few months after an event when I realised I was changed. I struggled to leave my uni flat, and so I tried various drugs to 'escape', which in hindsight made the anxieties much worst. I withdrew from friends, isolated myself, and tried to lock 'it' out...and so staying in my head was more of a comfort; but whatever I did, wherever I went, there was no escaping it...I could not escape or hide from myself!