02-10-2013, 02:07 PM
Nice poem 
I like how your rhyme scheme dances around but your stanzas remain the same, it just kind of adds to the emotion. I would love to see more imagery, I think that could add a lot to it, and I think it would be better if it started out in that depressed, hopeless mood and moved into the more of "now I'm taking control" mood. But it's your poem, I can only give suggestions. Solid formatting and I like the emotion, I don't know if this is personal, or if it's purely creative, but it feels personal, which is always a good thing, poetry=emotion.
I like how your rhyme scheme dances around but your stanzas remain the same, it just kind of adds to the emotion. I would love to see more imagery, I think that could add a lot to it, and I think it would be better if it started out in that depressed, hopeless mood and moved into the more of "now I'm taking control" mood. But it's your poem, I can only give suggestions. Solid formatting and I like the emotion, I don't know if this is personal, or if it's purely creative, but it feels personal, which is always a good thing, poetry=emotion.