To Kathy

[heslopian]

1st Edit:
To Kathy
Dusk sings a ballad,
And streetlamps highlight
Your quivering lips
Searching for words,
Your glinting eyes
Brimming with expectance.
The moon hums the blues
Of your defences coming down.

Our embrace
Is a dance screaming for avowal.
Once more, I borrow the night air,
And cast the spell
With more affirmation.
“I’ll stay.”

Then the town dims,
And I hear
The stars applauding.

The imagery's sweet and tender, but there's something strange about the way the world and universe are characterised as almost dependant on your narrator ("dusk sings a ballad"/"the stars applauding"). It's as if all of creation is just a chorus for the lovers' union, adding a dark solipsistic undertone which I'm not sure you intended. That said, it is a nice, intermittently moving love poem. I liked your description of the phrase "I'll stay" as a casted spell. Thank you for the read