From The Cliffs.

[heslopian]

The mainsail died, I saw it rip Could a comma go here? I stumbled here as it felt like you were saying the mainsail ripped dread.
dread ran like scurvy through the ship;
it cut the rope that held the cloth
then dropped the tatters to the froth
all white and roaring o'er the deck,
a misplaced foot, a broken neck. The rhymes in this verse are excellent. You've clearly bothered to work on your meter, and I love how the gently flowing rhymes juxtapose against the brutal images.

The anchor lost, the boat's keel broke
upon the granite, splintered oak.
Some jumped too late, some leapt too soon
their buckled bodies, smashed and strewn. Is the comma here needed? You're no doubt following a form I don't recognise, so maybe it is.
Across the knife-edged rocks they lay
undone and bloodied in the spray. Brilliant last line.

A superlative poem. It's richly structured, and gruesomely toned without being aggressive or mean-spirited. I loved it. Feels almost like Hemingway, but without the comfort of a message or moral. Critique is JMHO. Thanks for the read