To Kathy

[brandontoh]

Thanks tectak! Do you mind elaborating on what you mean by poetic padding please? I get what you mean by that the first stanza doesn't really do much to the poem, and achieves nothing much. Also, I meant the humming to mean silence after the first 'I'll stay'. >< Guess that doesn't work out well.

Okay, here's another edit. Hopefully it did capture the essence of your comments tectak.

Dusk gets coloured
Into ballad,
And streetlamps highlight
Your trembling eyes,
Your quivering lips.
Quiet hums of the moon
Sound your defences coming down.

I decided to go back to the moon. Nature just doesn't fit the whole imagery I'm trying to build. =/