02-06-2013, 02:11 PM
A dusty desert night's sky ago,
Before we got the car, before we had the baby,
Red-tailed hawks circled a jackalope's carcass
Thirty feet from where we buried our heads in the sand
In deep disclosing darkness, we would have mistaken them for bats
But because the desert sky glows green at night,
We looked up into the rings of heaven
And saw angels.
(A little short, I know, but it's the first one I've submitted for serious critique, so any feedback is greatly appreciated!)
Before we got the car, before we had the baby,
Red-tailed hawks circled a jackalope's carcass
Thirty feet from where we buried our heads in the sand
In deep disclosing darkness, we would have mistaken them for bats
But because the desert sky glows green at night,
We looked up into the rings of heaven
And saw angels.
(A little short, I know, but it's the first one I've submitted for serious critique, so any feedback is greatly appreciated!)