two minute poem

[benthejack]

cheers Ash
haha you should try it then.


I've given it another whirl anyway (see the edit).

I've tried, I just end up with emo crap or something that doesn't make sense. If there was a place for "crap poetry" here I would post them proudly.

Is this finished? I like "pinprick mind" and "gardens of lines"
I have no idea what it means, but I like poetry with layers. It's like reading something over and over and every time discovering something new about it. You have some really good images that I have to pay close attention to and hope to wrap my head around. Did the rest take 2 minutes?

heh cheers. nah the rest took a bit longer.
haha I guess if I were to say what its about now it would probably spoil it (it's fairly mundane)

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For a poem bashed out in two minutes during writer's block this is surprisingly good. There's no narrative or real point to speak of, but the images are crisp, surreal and rhythmic. An air of sinisterness underscores the poem, like a half-glimpsed ghost. Thank you for the read

cheers for the feedback.
You know I hadn't intended sinisterness, but now you mention it...