02-04-2013, 02:50 PM
I kinda disagree on these fronts. I haven't seen any of your other work, but the abundance of "real" works for me, though I do think the poem starts off weak and ends strong.
This is going to sound weird, but I read the poem with the intention of disliking it, and I was happily surprised, even by the ending (which I wouldn't do myself, but my poetry tends to be the shitstain next to the advent of poetry and as such has a sort of bizarre flare about it [so you probably shouldn't be taking my advice anyway]).
Still.
Give us some other stuff, I'd like to see more.
This is going to sound weird, but I read the poem with the intention of disliking it, and I was happily surprised, even by the ending (which I wouldn't do myself, but my poetry tends to be the shitstain next to the advent of poetry and as such has a sort of bizarre flare about it [so you probably shouldn't be taking my advice anyway]).
Still.
Give us some other stuff, I'd like to see more.
I'll be there in a minute.