02-04-2013, 02:34 PM
I agree that there is a fair amount of rambling, specifically in the middle around the lines,
"Have they walked down real sidewalks, have they crossed real streets?
Are they on their way to real places with other real people to meet?
Do the real people read real books and write real words?"
I would probably just edit those out. however, with that being said, the ending is quite poignant, and i like that it ends with a question in the same way that the beginning starts. not bad at all. really
"Have they walked down real sidewalks, have they crossed real streets?
Are they on their way to real places with other real people to meet?
Do the real people read real books and write real words?"
I would probably just edit those out. however, with that being said, the ending is quite poignant, and i like that it ends with a question in the same way that the beginning starts. not bad at all. really