Lament

[rowens]

I laughed at myself. I laughed at myself.
I laughed at myself.
Soon I'll have someone laughing with me.

The last of my stuff in the medicine cabinet.
He left some stains in the toilet;
must be the first time he went in a while,
since I hid our stash behind the books
on the bookshelf.

The books he never reads;
the books he bought
to show off to our friends,
without taking them off the shelf.

I remember the nights he spent wiping.
He could push one only out enough
that he had to scrape away at it for hours,
till his fingers couldn't reach any farther.
We went through toilet paper like rolling paper.

Everybody told me he wasn't any good.
His own mother told me,
for Christ's sake!
A knob! A fucking knob!
What would he do without me?...

Likely shit himself to death
if he hasn't found something already.
Embarrassing creep. If only I had never met him.
I saw the signs, like I've seen the signs a hundred times,
with all these guys I've loved.
He cuts the farts that cut to the heart.