02-01-2013, 06:01 PM
Interesting poem.
I would agree with the other person who said the "and"s become a bit to much. For me, they become the 'heaviest' word on the line, when it seems that other words/phrases make much more of a statement. Perhaps if the "and"s did not start out lines (but instead were more frequently placed within a line) they would be less obtrusive to the reader but still carry the same tone.
I would agree with the other person who said the "and"s become a bit to much. For me, they become the 'heaviest' word on the line, when it seems that other words/phrases make much more of a statement. Perhaps if the "and"s did not start out lines (but instead were more frequently placed within a line) they would be less obtrusive to the reader but still carry the same tone.