02-01-2013, 05:01 PM
(01-29-2013, 03:17 PM)Heslopian Wrote: As a child I dreamt about slapping and hurting mum
the way dad never could, being more of a gentleman
than he or I would admit. The sluts and junkies
she mixed with made me hate women,
and when she'd lose her mind I'd wish her dead.
The Minotaur which sought Theseus had a cunt, I was sure.
My anger changed course growing up;
men were the enemy now, and I dreamt about hurting dad,
destroying his id with the legs of a chair.
The universe was dark, brightened only by rage
which tore through life like sentient fire,
cleansing and killing at once.
I read this 2 minutes after you posted it and felt at home. Not exactly cozy but familiar. I was surprised to learn you are not American (a style thing). To my inner ear this flows well. Content-wise I stumbled a bit- I think it best to show you how I read stanza 2:
L1 as written but then colon.
men are the enemy now, ...
L3: the universe is darkest (present tense).
Thank you for introducing Sarah Kane to me on your profile.
If this is poetry or narrative or wtf, it is a voice. Which is all that matters in my book.
cheers
serge