02-01-2013, 04:37 AM
"The beginning of the flood will feel lonely" < I love, love, LOVE this. And I really like the "Fire and Ice" motif going on.
My only advice for the poem as a whole would be to simplify your imagery...there's a lot going on, and your word choice is beautiful, just very elaborate for as short as your stanzas are. You have a lot of very strong words, but there's so many of them that the impact of their meaning gets a little lost.
My only advice for the poem as a whole would be to simplify your imagery...there's a lot going on, and your word choice is beautiful, just very elaborate for as short as your stanzas are. You have a lot of very strong words, but there's so many of them that the impact of their meaning gets a little lost.