01-30-2013, 03:35 PM
the rhyme scheme if you have one is very slipshod, it would work better with some kind of consistent format. or at least a consistent. rhyme pattern. the clichés that make the poem feel to preachy, or maybe that's the wrong word, it's too soap box to hold the reader. we've heard it all before in many different way. it does have a rappy aura about it but the words don't suite the style.
(01-29-2013, 11:58 PM)Hidrolic Wrote: Politically speaking
Our voice as a people is continually weakening
The republic is dying
Elected officials speak truths but we know they're lying
Their means are self serving
To them big business is more deserving
The average man can't grasp these quotes
It's evident because they still believe in the process and continue to vote
Driven by propaganda and false hope
Democrats say Republicans are the worst
Republicans turn around and utter the same verse
It's a game of which side places the blame first
I've awoken to reality, I see it vividly
It's about love, dignity and personal liberty
To each his own, we shouldn't judge shouldn't cast a stone
unity is power we shouldn't stand alone
Politics wasn't meant to unite at all
If we keep choosing sides we'll devide and fall
Independent thinking, we need to revive that call
A revolution is brewing
The people starting to understand the shit that they're doing
Realizing there's no end to the dreams they're pursuing
Politicians are bought and our governments ruined
We fight wars in the name of peace
To bring democracy to lands where dictators preach
But in the end only hate is reached
All the while at home freedom ceased
It's on life support
I have faith but I'm losing hope
Wishing I could clean the world by using soap
Some forget the world by abusing dope
Life is funny but it's not an amusing joke