01-30-2013, 03:17 PM
I am sorry but I don't feel these are unique thoughts that have been conjured out of deep contemplation.. It sounds like a compilation of lines I have read and heard before in the new-world movement. Some of the ideas are contradicting, specifically individualism, free thinking vs unity. The poem lacks authenticity because it lacks your emotion and your unique voice. I'd like to hear something from your soul.. something raw and honest. Perhaps you can focus on one idea in your poem and put your own spin on it, express how it makes you feel.
"Elected officials speak truths but we know they're lying"
Not all elected officials are lying, there are people working for the truth in parliament/government.
Try not to get sucked into the bubble of people who are anti-government without knowing very much about it. These are people who engage in reductionism and seem to draw their conclusions from conversations rather than thorough personal research and self-education.
I used to be one of these people. I was incredibly anti-government but my views were more of a regurgitation of other peoples conclusions than my own. I didn't have many unique thoughts on the subject because the truth is, I didn't know very much about government and how it worked. I see photos all over the internet that say things like, "Capitalism, bringing you lower quality and fewer choices since the 16th century."
It is not that simple.
"Elected officials speak truths but we know they're lying"
Not all elected officials are lying, there are people working for the truth in parliament/government.
Try not to get sucked into the bubble of people who are anti-government without knowing very much about it. These are people who engage in reductionism and seem to draw their conclusions from conversations rather than thorough personal research and self-education.
I used to be one of these people. I was incredibly anti-government but my views were more of a regurgitation of other peoples conclusions than my own. I didn't have many unique thoughts on the subject because the truth is, I didn't know very much about government and how it worked. I see photos all over the internet that say things like, "Capitalism, bringing you lower quality and fewer choices since the 16th century."
It is not that simple.
"What we observe is not nature itself, but nature exposed to our method of questioning" - Werner Karl Heisenber